Category: the Rant Board
it burns me up to see teenagers french kissing, touching intamantly, having sex, and getting pregnant. wake up girls, those cute little outfits that you buy and parade around in, you r just simply asking for trouble. with sex comes responsibility. if you are not an adult, you have no business even dabbling in sexual things. rant over.
Exactly right! I agree 100%.
these girls r just putting themselves out there for all kinds of trouble. y do u think most rapes happen?
Oh for Christ's sake, please don't tell me we're going to have another ill-informed "dress sexy and you're asking to get raped" load of bullcrap?
Somanea, are you *seriously* saying that anybody brings rape or sexual assault on themselves?
Think carefully before you answer, bearing in mind that rape is about control and not sex.
Most rapes happen because the perpetrators of such crime are sick and twisted, getting off on dominating and hurting others.
Saying teenagers have no business experimenting with sex, is asking for trouble. Telling any youngster they mustn't do somethin, means they'll go ahead and do it more. Educate children propperly about safe sex, about maturity, and try to ensure that if they do decide to experiment they can do it safely. both in a safe environment, and protected from pregnancy and disease.
The views previously expressed here in my opinion are narrow minded and very dangerous.
well true. that is what i am going to do. i will try to instill it into my daughter to steer clear of it as a teenager though and to stay in school and not to worry about boys
and also, yes, some teenagers can bring sexual asults on to themselves by the way that they dress, act, and portray themselves.
if teens were more careful about the way that they dressed and acted, they wouldnt bring on unwanted advances.
So Somanea, let me get this straight, you're going to encourage your daughter to steer clear of boys and stay in school? If she's a normal teenaged girl, in her mind your "encouragement" will sound like this: "sneak out the window and go to school to get your heavy petting and lip locking done between classes." I think that teenagers these days need approachable parents, not mothers who get burned up because of over-active hormones. it's that approach which, more often than not, makes teens want to experiment just to see what the big fuss is about. If it is your belief that people should abstain until marriage, inculcate your children with that belief but don't act like it's the end of the world if they don't wait. after all, on judgement day, it'll be they who will be responsible for their actions, not you. I think that if you're going to encourage your daughter to do these things, encourage your son, if you have or will have a son, to be respectful of women, to keep cat calls and hands to himself when he sees a pretty girl flaunting her God-given body and to understand that control isn't everything.
While I agree with Somanea on this topic, I also agree with Danielle. There's a balance to be had, and it's in parenting, and the end result of it. Mom taught us abstenance to my brother and me. She got pregnant with me when she was a teen, and didn't want us making the same mistakes she and my biologival father made. I still practice abstenance, my brother does not. I believe she taught us correctly, but we made our own choices.
I agree with that teens shouldn't be involved in sexual activity. I was actually on a website that was an openly informational one in talking about sex, and even there it said that if a person is not ready to possibly get pregnant or get an STD, that they just shouldn't have sex, not even with contraceptives since they're not 100 percent effective in preventing those things. And I would also think that certain things like kissing and making out could eventually lead to sex. (They might not, always), but why would someone take that chance and then say "one thing lead to another", "it just happened", or something like that. I don't think a teen should need to be worrying about whether they could get an STD or be pregnant or of putting a baby up for adoption or taking care of a baby when they are young themselves. (I know there is the solution of having "protection" or even getting an abortion, but I personally don't agree with that). So the best thing would just be not to take that chance. It's true that some might go out and try it anyway, but if they weren't raised to think it was OK in the first place, they would have been warned and would realize why when they regret not having waited, or possibly become a parent or get an STD. I'm not saying parents should teach their kids that sex is evil or anything, but they should be taught that (well, in my case of what I would teach), that sex is a special gift that should be saved for after marriage, that contraception is not 100 percent protection against STD's/pregnancy, and that although it is always a person's fault if they choose to rape/harass, the teen should also think what they are expressing with what they wear and should try not to put themselves in a situation that can make them volnerable such as being completely alone with a date, drinking or drugs (which they shouldn't be doing anyway at all), or touching a date or allowing themselves to be touched for sexual reasons. After teaching my child this, I can't really stop him or her from choosing to have sex, but if they do, they already knew what the better choice would've been, and therefore that they were partly responsible if anything happened because of it. (If they were sexually assaulted because of how they dressed or if they chose to drink too much or something, although it was mostly the offender's fault for acting on a thought to harm another person, it was partly the victim's for impairing their judgement by drinking or dressing seductively. I know that sounds harsh, but I think of it like this:
A person jogging while listening to his/her music player does not expect or deserve to be attacked either, but the jogger might have lessened the chance of that by paying better attention to his/her surroundings. I also know that an attacker may just attack anyone randomly reguardless of what they do or how they act, and that ideally, noone should have to care what they choose to or are comfortable wearing/doing, but things aren't like that and one does have to pay attention to how they communicate themselves to others.
Kind of seems like I got off the main point specifically about teens toward the end, but yeah, that's my thoughts on this.
Just to clarify because I had meant to before I pressed the Post button, by being "on" the website, I meant reading it and not being a member of it.
i agree with the princess on this subject
well you know. also, the teenaged boys also do not control their sexual desires as well as we do. lets go back a few posts. your parents taught u abstenence, u abstain, your brother does not. that tells me that boys subcome to their sexual desires easier than girls do. but then again, alot of the girls go around flaunting what they have.
I agree with BlackBird on this subject, it could be very dangerous and open-mindedness is the best policy in every situation.
I agree with the princess as well. I too am a proponent of the abstinence until marriage approach. While people are free to make their own choices, think of how much heartbreak and drama could be avoided if people made different choices. I too was taught to wait until after marriage. My two older sisters did not and I became an aunt at age 12. Believe me, this gave me lots of harsh lessons about what it's like to have a child at a young age. I do believe that if parents are going to teach abstinence, they should tell their children why to wait. I was taught by my church, but I should've been given concrete reasons why. Only later did I come to understand the whole concepts of dignity and self-respect. I'm not saying that those who choose not to abstain don't have self respect. However, you wouldn't believe the stories of girls I know who whish they'd waited. Also, if it's so empowering to have a one night stand, then why are so many people, girls in particular so miserable afterwords. Making a choice about sexuality and feeling like an adult woman are deffinitely empowering. It's not that I think sex is bad. quite the opposite. I think it's very good. So why waste a precious gift on a person who you may one day not be with, or worse yet, on someone you've just met. I do agree that teens are exposed to sex earlier than I was. I do believe parents/clergy and community are an excellent resource for helping teens navigate this difficult topic. Please understand, I'm not trying to be judgmental. I'm merely stating an oppinion.
But Jesse is a man who chose to abstain...if anything, i think that young girls succumb easier to giving their bodies because they get swept away by emotions a lot more quickly. I'm not saying by any means that women are weaker than men, it's just well, lets put it like this:
A teenaged boy can tell a girl that he loves her just to get into her pants. Hence, his physical needs are met.
A teenaged girl on the other hand, not only has physical desires to deal with, she has emotions that run rampant so when she is lusting after a boy who tells her he loves her, it's like a double wammy. Granted, that's not an excuse but it is something that really does happen. All that being said, it takes two to tango so boys and girls should be held equally accountable for their actions.
actually yes that is definitely true. we, as women, do have emotional attractions to deal with as well. we r easily swayed because the guys tell us what we want to hear and then leave us high and dry afterward.
Wow! How narrow-minded... Sounds like you should have grown up with my narrow-minded family. They piss me off sometimes with their ignorence and their judgmental ways!
I believe similar topics have come up on the zone and this view on teens and sex just irritates the heck out of me. Like Danielle stated above, preventing your kids from the opposite sex is just asking for trouble. Teens, in my oppinion, have the right to grow and experiment sexually. But with parents who are against this idea, their teens would of course not learn or care about addiquit protection because after all, schools can only enforce safe sex for so long till it goes in one ear and out the other.
I think it is the job of the parents to educate their kids about sex instead of closing that door of knolledge to them. Preventing your daughters from hanging out with boys will only increase her curiosity about them as she grows up.
Correct me if I'm wrong. It seems that most adults who are against teens and sex are those who as a teen themselves weren't found as attractive to the opposite sex. lol That's the only logical explanation I can think of that makes sense. I mean I'm not talking about those like Jesse's mom who got pregnant as a teen and are looking out for their kids. Afterall, he said his mom would prefer her kids to abstain from sex but would understand if they chose the other road. It's almost as if they don't want their kids to experiment what they never did. This person I know never had a boyfriend as a teenager and she is forever looking down on her younger acquaintances because they either have a boyfriend and kiss way too much or they feel comfortable talking about sex which makes them a slut in her eyes.
And what is this bull about women asking to be raped? Why, when a woman feels comfortable in showing off a bit of skin do people assume that she is asking to be raped? There was a couple of girls on the news who were in their wheelchairs in a park and they got raped by 2 guys. I am sure they never asked to be raped. Gosh. Some people make me sick! And it's you and your justifications of rape by claiming that it is the woman's fault that let rapists get away with what they do! If you're daughter got raped, would you tell her that it was her fault? It's not just women who dress in a certain way that get raped... It's about the controll of knowing they have the power to hurt you that gets them off. *rolls her eyes at the ignorence of some people*
Well that's why I fuck dogs, they can't get pregnant.
While I see no problem with teens dating and even kissing, I do draw the line at sex. I mean, I know that it's human nature to be curious, and I know some will do it anyway, but I don't think that today's teens are responsible enough to take on something as serious as sex. Of course, there are the exceptions, but they're few and far between. One of the things that really gets on my nerves is the talk show teens who sleep with all sorts of men, get pregnant and then piss and mone because they don't know who the father is. What ever happened to protection? At least, if you're gonna do something like that, take precautions! And this is true for men as well as women alike. I started at 19, so I was still in my teen years, but I was also a legal adult. As for dressing in revealing clothing, I was never the type to do that, but I don't put down those who do. However, I do put down the society that doesn't enforce to the men that women should be respected no matter what they ware. I mean, it's ok for a guy to ware something revealing, but if a woman does it, it's automatically bad. I'm not saying that children should dress like that, but later teens and older women should be able to do it without fear. Btw, I'm totally against abstinence before marriage. I also believe it's a parent's responsibility, along with school, to teach teens about safe sex.
well said tiff. the only thing that i dont agree with here is not abstaining before marriage because i got hurt by my one and only bf that i had before i started dating, and later marrying my husband.
and RBM, that was totally uncalled for.
Well, getting hurt is a part of life. And at least you (not you personally) would know before hand what you could expect and could get out of the situation more easily. Besides, you could learn what kind of lover your partner is before taking the plunge.
true
I have been wanting to respond to this topic since I first saw it, but whenever I read it it makes me angry and I can't find the words. Luckily, people have already said most of what I wanted to say, so I'll just say that I agree wholeheartedly with Dusty, Kevin, and Michelle.
This is an incredibly narrow-minded and judgmental view to take of sex and all the facets of it that have been discussed. It's true that sometimes girls go a bit overboard with the revealing clothing and promiscuity, but it is never, never fair to say that they bring sexual attacks on themselves. Never. That's a horrible way to look at it. And as has already been stated, to try and keep your children from ever going near anything remotely sexual until they're fully adults is just going to achieve the opposite result--they'll become more curious because you're making such a big issue of it and they'll want to see what it's all about. And even if that weren't true, I would never want my children to be ignorant or ill-informed, or to be made to feel ashamed if they succumbed to hormones/desires before the age I deemed appropriate. Yes, I would try to teach them values, caution, self-respect, et cetera, but I don't believe sex is anything to hide or be protected from. And I definitely don't subscribe to the abstinence until marriage idea. It's impractical. Every person is different, there's no set rules that apply the same to everyone, and to say that all teenagers are too immature and not ready to deal with sex is silly and inaccurate.
well alot of them are. look at jamie spears. she is 15 and pregnant. but no. i will not completely shield my children from it. i will explain to them y sex should be avoided until they r ready to take on the responsibilities of it.
I'm so upset right now that I don't know where to start. Ok, maybe here we go. Not all teens are immature and unready for the responsibility of a baby. I know of 2 couples who maybe weren't ready in the beginning, but they are now, and have done wonderfully with each of their children. So, in my opinion instead of focusing on the "no, no, no, no". Why not focus on something more benificial to the teens and our society as a whole. Which in my opinion is: sexual facts, safe protection, freedom of expression, responsibility, respect and maturity. Maybe if all parents spend a little less time saying no and a little more taking responsibility for the children they've created and teach them this whole world might be better off. And this bs touches on the topic of schools trying to turn our children into robots where in they're not allowed to think, speak or act for themselves. In today's world it seems if you do anything against the norm your wrong, but instead how about making our children productive members of society who can feel confident in making their own safe decissions. Now, I'll state, I was 15 when I started having sex. Why did I do it? Because I was depressed, he actually seemed to like me; (more the fool was I), and, my Mom had spent my entire life saying no and I was curious what the big deal was. I didn't have the facts, and therefore I made what might have been a not so wise decision. However, do I regret it? No!!! I most infatically do not!!!
um wow. i don't even know how to say what i want to say. i also agree with kevin, dusty, michelle, and chelsea. and samania i must say that you generalize alot. just because one 15 year old chick is pregnant doesn't mean that all teens are not responsible or mature enough. and also, so she is pregnant. who are you to say that she won't turn out to be a great mom and stil finish school and things like that. i honestly have no clue who she is, but people make mistakes. it doesn't make them bad people for doing so.
my mom wasn't a single teenage mom or anything like that, but when i was 4, she became a single mom of 3 young girls and had been a housewife before that. my mom put herself through nursing school, worked, and raised my sisters and i and did one hell of a good job doing it.
so while my mom is kind of off the topic, it kind of relates. it can and has been done and in more situations than just mine. so just because someone does get pregnant, doesn't make them a bad person.
grrrr you remind me of another used to be zone member with your narrow minded ways of thinking.
jamie speers is brittany speers sister for those of u who dont know. anyway, please dont call me narrowminded. on the contrary, i am very open minded about things. but most teen pregnancies r where i draw the line. sure there can be some teens who grow up very quickly when they have children. but the whole point of this topic is to say that teenagers r still children themselves until they hit adulthood. that is y i dont think they should be messing with sex. and alot of you on here r bashing me for my views and opinions on the subject. i wil educate my children properly about sex so if they really listen to what i tell them, they wont be compelled to do it until they hit adulthood.
It's not that all teens are immature, but many are and many don't, can't or won't finish school if they get pregnant. If I had a teen and she got pregnant I'd either say have an abortion or find a way to take care of it cause I wouldn't I realise that at that young age, doing that might be traumatising, but on the other hand, I didn't tell her to go and have unprotected sex. If I had a boy and he got a girl pregnant and she chose to keep the child, I'd make him take responsibility for it (once it was scientifically clear that the child was his) and support her. For the record, my mother feels differently and would help raise the child.
oh yes. i would definitely make my son take responsibility for a child that he helped make. as far as an abortion, if my daughter ever got pregnant, i would tell her to find a way to take care of the child, or put the child up for adoption. i am against abortion unless the life of the mother, or the life of the child is in danger.
Chelsie and Pipi will you two play Lassie and i'll be timmy? See post 19 for refference.
u mean post 20. and get out of here with your talk of bestiality. it is just wrong, not to mention sick and twisted.
xomg. ok. so I read the first... uh. 8 posts.
Basically, your saying, the teen is asking to get raped, bla bla.
Uh. sorry. You lose.
YOu ever been raped or know someone that has? It's a tromatic situation.
The dress is the style. They're not going to say "O, my god. This is like a provocative dress... Better not wear it."
I doubt that that's what they're thinking when they put the dress on.
As for french kissing etc.
There is a limit, with people. But it's a lot of different things. It's become accepted in today's society.
Think of weed for a sec.
You're saying "OMG, teens shouldn't have sex, bla bla bla.
One of the main reasons why people smoke weed, drink, do drugs, is because of the fact that, it's condemned by society as a bad thing.
So, if we were to allow weed, the rate would go down.
There are very few people that actually smoke because they enjoy it.
So yeah. same thing with sex.
Maybe if people just stopped bitching about it, it'd be less of an issue.
Scruing in the back of a class gives you publicity or something.
Those who seak attention are going to use it as a way to get under the spotlight, so they can become famous, get attention, etc etc.
Whether it means you have a bunch of church people throwing bible verses at them, I doubt it really matters.
Rant over. Laters all
yuppers jared. we can play on valentine's day baby. hehehhehhe
i attempted to have a conversation with you samania in quick notes earlier, but got a phone call and it took forever. what i wanted to say to you is that i don't necessarioly disagree with you in my personal beliefs. if i have children, they will be taught about sex, std's, abstanence, protection, and everything they need to know. i personally don't want my own children having sex until they are mature and responsible enough for the consequences. but i can't put an age on that. i will teach them and talk to them openly about sex, drugs, and other things. and there is free will, so they are going to do what they want when they want anyway, but i believe with teaching them right from wrong, respecting themselves, and many other values, this is the main thing. not at what age i say they are allowed to have sex.
but these are my beliefs and what i will teach and talk to my kids about. i don't agree with you at all that teens in general are still children. and i don't agree with you that you can make such a generalization in saying that they shouldn't be allowed to have sex or kiss or anything else.
as for your thoughts on rape... i think many others have covered what i would say on that. so i'll just keep it to no woman or man no matter what they do or say asks to be raped. no means no.
yes pipi, my children will be taught the same values as well.
anyway, topic over ok?
Post 3 and 7 made me almost throw my computer across the room. (luckily, amazingly enough, I've learned selfe control. What a concept?) The idea that anyone that is a victom of sexual asault of any kind has any falt in being asaulted is one of the most vile things I've ever heard in my entire life. It's a cough out and bullshit. The only one that is at falt there is the person that asaulted them. No ifs, no buts. There is a reason we have something called self control. You are responsible for only your actions. The actions of anyone else are their own. Maybe if people wouldn't make excuses like these things would be better in the world.
Tell me Somanea, how many people do you know that've been raped? How many of their stories have you heard? If you can honestly say that after knowing some people that have been, I have serious wonders about you. What could make you believe anyone had any excuse to do something like that to another person. At all.
agree with the last post.
i myself have been raped. so i know about it.
anyway. disgussion closed. i am over that rant. the only reason that i posted it in the first place is because i was reading the teen topics and came across blow jobs and licking and things like that. disgussion closed please.
this whole thing is narrow minded my mom put herself threw hi school while she after she had me and she had me at 16 and has a few cirtiations and its not just the girls that get raped it can be guys too
yeah but u rarely see that though. anyway. like i said a billion times. i dohnt like to see teens making mistakes by having sex when they r not ready. it is mostly confusion because of raging hormones. anyway. disgussion closed please! i am finished ranting about it!
You may be finished, but obviously others aren't done responding. After starting a topic, I don't believe you can simply close it.
agreed
Somanea I hope you have a daughter so that as soon as she's over the age of consent I can show her what mom is trying to hide from her.
i would never allow my daughter to have sex with you because, rbm, u set very low standards on women. i would talk to her and advise her not to even go near you because u obviously do not respect women.
First if you think you can stop a child from doing something your wrong unless you lock them up and monitor them when ever they leave the house. The best you can do is instill them with morals, a sence of right and wrong, the ability to make informed decisions and hope it works out ofr the best. I do respect women just not an idiot like you.
u could have fooled me rbm. anyway what i have been saying in this whole topic is that i will instill the right morals in my children.
and anyway, that comment about respecting women accept an idiot like me is really mature. rofl.
so is trying to close a topic that you yourself started. if you don't like a persons opinions on a givin situation, then here's abit of very simple advice. don't start it.
hmmm.